Lust or Love?
by James' Lily Flower
Summary: What was the difference between love and lust anyway? Lily couldn't decide. But she knew she wanted James Potter and she wanted him bad. ONESHOT RESPONSE TO SIRIUSLY KLUTZY'S SWEATY PALMS.


**Since this is a sort of response to Siriusly Klutzy's Sweaty Palms, I suggest you read it... though you should still understand the fic even if you don't.  
/s/4236420/1/SweatyPalms**

**Please drop reviews!  
Love JLF xoxo**

**Lust or Love?**

"_You came?" it wasn't really a question directed at him, but a young soul questioning her doubtfulness at such a fanciful romance._

"_To see you… I did," his voice was simple, but just the very words he used spoke lines of passion. _

_She looked at him widely, green eyes hopeful but unsure. He smiled handsomely at her; lips full, pink- creased and tinged against his toned and tanned skin. _

_The grounds were dimly lit by the moon, grass edging into her vision. But she didn't care. Her eyes gazed upon him, happily. He __**had **__come. Her lips twitched, longing. _

_His eyes laughed back; beautiful, glowing hazel. His eyebrows raised in a subtle invitation, one only they could ever hope to understand._

_She took a step closer, watching his smile reach to his cheeks and fold them into dimples, as she did so. Her eyes mirrored his. Lust and desire threatening to take over. _

"_James…" she breathed his name, desire blistering her tongue as she did so. _

_He cupped her cheek, gazing at her desperately. "I need this… us."  
That one word… __**us**__. It was them. A moment only the two could share._

_She looked at him, knowingly. The moment had come, but she wasn't scared and it wasn't a moment too soon. _

_No words could speak her understanding, her agreement. She nodded, she was ready. _

_He reached out to place a liquid kiss to her parched lips. _

"Evans? Lily, it's time to get up."

The voice broke through her dreams, shattering the images. She fought it, reaching out to the pictures in her mind. _No… come back. _His hand upon hers, their lips joined, bodies touching. The dim lights casting the grounds in a succulent glow.

"Lily!!"

"I'm coming, Potter. Let a girl get up and get changed." Her eyes opened to the bleary morning darkness that her room was cast with when the curtains were drawn. She sighed and rubbed her sleep filled eyes.

"Lily, it's fifteen minutes until lessons start," he said loudly.

Shit.

"I'll be five minutes, Potter."

"Okay. I'll wait for you downstairs."

"Fine," Lily replied, desperately trying to button up her shirt and brush her hair at the same time. She put her skirt on and grabbed her jumper and tie. She slipped socks and shoes on before rushing to the bathroom to check her reflection in the mirror and clean her teeth. Finally she grabbed her books and bag for the first lesson and rushed down the stairs.

"Done," she said, collapsing onto the sofa next to him.

He gave her a handsome grin and she felt her heart speeding up. "Are you always this quick?" he asked in a seductive tone.

She grinned back stupidly, "are we going to breakfast?"

"If we hurry, we can grab something," he replied.

"Let's go then."

As James had suggested they only had time to grab food before they had to leave for transfiguration. From there James went to sit with the Marauders, while Lily joined her best friend, Alice.

"You're late," Alice said, raising an eyebrow.

"I slept in late," Lily said, setting her quills, parchment, ink and books on her desk.

"Did you spend the night with James again?" Alice asked nosily, in a motherly sort of tone.

"No, I told you, Alice. _Nothing _is happening there. And can you lower your voice?"

"Sure," Alice whispered, watching her cheekily.

"I had another dream."

"Another one?"

"Yes, Al."

"About James?"

"Yes," Lily replied, gritting her teeth, "can you stop using _his _name?"

Alice smirked, "how far did you guys get this time, eh?"

"We kissed… but more would have happened if the damn bastard hadn't woken me up!" Lily said, almost sulkily.

Alice grinned even more widely. "How did he wake you?"

"By yelling at me," Lily replied. "Look, Alice, this dream James doesn't act at all like real James."

"Dream James is there somewhere, Lily, I promise," Alice said kindly, "Besides, James doesn't even know you like him that way."

"Yes, and I'd like to keep it that way," Lily said quietly, brushing red hair out of her eyes.

Alice shook her head, "I don't see why."

"Because I don't like being made to look like a fool," Lily replied in a sharp, clipped tone.

"Pah," said Alice. "Not even if it gets you the man of your dreams?" she asked.

"No, because it wouldn't. face it, Al, he doesn't even like me anymore. All I am to him is Head Girl," Lily said sadly, gazing at her nails.

"Idiot," Alice said.

Lily lifted her head, "pardon?"

"You, Lily Evans, are an idiot if you think James Potter doesn't like you anymore," Alice said, slapping her friend's hand lightly. "He's just giving you the room you've always asked him for."

"Are you blaming this on me?!" Lily asked incredulously.

"Frankly?" Alice asked and Lily nodded. "Yes, it is your fault."

"I see," Lily replied shortly.

"Oh, Lil, you'll get him," Alice said, "I know you will."  
Lily decided to stay silent at this comment. She brushed one red gold lock behind her ear. She wrote down a comment that their professor was making. Alice shook her head lightly, watching her intently.

Feeling her best friend's gaze, Lily turned to Alice and fixed her with a glare. "What?" she asked.

"You," Alice said, "will never get James Potter if you don't believe you will."

"So you expect me to sit around and wait for something that will never happen?" Lily asked.

"No," her best friend replied, "I expect you to sit around and wait for something that is going to happen very soon." Alice gazed at her solemnly. "Lil, do you want it to happen?"  
"Yes, but personally I think it's better for me to just get over it, while I can, Lily said quietly.

"Look, love isn't easy to get over," Alice said in a matter-of-fact tone.

_But am I even in love with him? _Lily thought.

* * *

Her heart fluttered in her chest; pounding, thumping, throbbing. She felt like she had run for forty-miles. She took a stronger breath, panting, forcing air into her stricken lungs. An indefinable force crushed against her chest. She fought it, gasping. Undeniable butterflies fluttered in her stomach; soaring, spinning, wheeling in an intricate dance. She felt her skin tingling, red-poker hot, flushing. She felt faint, sickened, giddy- in a high that could not be gained by taking any drug. It was like alcohol, but different. The cravings that fuelled her very being.

"Are you ready for patrol?"

And there was the spark, the one that set her entire body alight. The intense burning. It left her soul as blackened as charcoal, a desire, an aching. Need and passion flushing her veins free of blood, free of oxygen. She lived on that heat. A heat that she both adored and yet also hated.

"Uh… Lil?" he asked softly. His voice was warm and caring, but also confused. And why shouldn't he be? Even Lily couldn't figure out her feelings for him.

He took a step closer and pressed a gentle hand to her arm. She closed her eyes briefly, revelling in the brief joining of their two fires. His tender touch set fireworks off that crept up her skin.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go," she said, giving him a half smile.

She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye, as they walked. His strides were long and effortless, making her pace harder to keep up with him. But slowly she fell behind him. His tie was loose and his shirt was crumpled, with the sleeves rolled up. It left a large amount of his bare arms on show, and Lily watched them flexing as he moved. His shirt was tucked out of his trousers and the darker material was tight around his lower body, giving Lily a lovely view of his muscular bottom.

She felt a blush and moved her gaze up to the back of his head. His hair was as wild as always, dark and messy. She watched his arms swinging powerfully at his sides, feeling those familiar butterflies in her stomach.

* * *

"_James!" she giggled, reaching into the lake and splashing water his face. _

_He gave her a cheeky smile, rubbing droplets off his glasses. "You want to get really wet?" he asked. _

_She raised an eyebrow, "what did you have in mind?"_

"_This!" he laughed, picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder. He spun her around a few times, before promptly dropping her in the lake. She broke the surface of the ice cold water, feeling freezing fingers creeping over her bones. She rose to the surface once again, spluttering and coughing. "James," she called, "JAMES!" _

_He smiled at her. "Lily?" he mocked. _

"_JAMES! YOU GET OVER HERE NOW!" she screamed. _

_He grinned widely, taking a step closer to her. He leaned over the surface, hazel meeting green. He took his glasses and jacket off, lying on his stomach and resting his weight on his elbows. He watched her treading water for a few seconds, ruffling his hair, following her movements. _

_She rested her forearms on the shore, gazing into his eyes. They were less than three centimetres apart; Lily could feel his breath on her cold skin. The gaze he was giving her warmed her shocked muscles. She placed her fingers around his tensioned biceps. He smiled, placing his hands on top of her shoulder blades. She moved closer again to place an abrupt kiss to his full lips. Then she grabbed harder onto his arms, dragging him into the water with her. _

_She swam away from him, her body finally getting used to the temperature. Besides, with the smouldering look he was giving her, she needed no other source of heat. _

_He kicked his powerful legs out and swam over to catch up with her. He splashed her playfully, before wrapping her in his arms and giving her and kiss filled with pent-up lust. _

_They swam over to the shore, flopping down next to one another. James turned and lay on top of her, kissing her harshly. His hand moved down her curves, resting on her upper thigh. _

"_Hmm… James," she breathed. His only answer was to kiss her harder._

* * *

Lily found Alice in the library that afternoon. It was after dinner, and Alice had come to the library to do her Charms essay. Lily had an inkling that she was hiding from her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, who would prefer to spend the evening in other manners, rather than essay writing.

"Alice?"

The dark haired girl raised her head to look at Lily. "Hmm?" she asked, chewing on the end of her quill.

"How do you tell the difference between love and lust?"

Alice raised an eyebrow. "It's complicated," she replied, solemnly.

"Try me," Lily said sharply.

"Is this about Potter?" the other girl asked.

Lily nibbled her lip, nervously. "Maybe…" she said slowly.

Alice grinned, motioning for Lily to sit in the chair opposite her. Alice sat seriously in her wooden chair. She tapped her nails lightly on the shiny surface of the library desk. Lily felt like a young child having "The Talk" with their mother.

"Well… lust is all about attraction… the way the person looks, their bodies. Love is about souls and hearts. If you love someone, you've known them for a while. You know things about them; you've seen the way they act. You could talk to them for hours… you feel comfortable when you're with them and enjoy spending time with them."

She paused, "A soul-mate has three things… Physical attraction, this is the least important- the sparks when you touch one another, the, well, _lust_. You can love someone and lust after them, but you cannot lust someone and love them."  
Alice kept a weary eye out for the librarian. "The second is trust- you trust the person to care for you and to remain faithful. You have a problem? You are willing to tell them because you know they will not laugh."

Lily played with a lock of hair nervously.

"The last is friendship," Alice smiled. "Someone who knows the worst things about you, but loves you all the same."

Lily sighed. "And you feel all these things for Frank?" she asked.

"Yes," Alice replied without hesitation. "But the real question is here is, do you feel those things for James?"

"I'm not sure," she lied. "I'm going to bed."  
"Alright, Lil," she said, watching the redhead rise. "You think on those things."  
Lily nodded, "I will."

* * *

_Lily grinned widely, shuffling against the crimson bedsheets. She raised her gaze to look into James' hazel eyes. He attacked her lips again. She giggled softly as his hands began to caress the front of her shirt. She placed her hands in his hair, caressing his scalp with her fingernails. _

_He kissed her harder and she moaned loudly, pulling his figure closer to hers. "James…"_

_He laughed lightly against her lips. Seeing how excited she was made him feel rather… aroused. He slid his tongue into her mouth, stirring it around. Her arms were around his neck and a hair wouldn't be able to fit between their bodies, as they pressed intimately together. He kissed her, lustfully. _

"_JAMES," she screamed his name as desire threatened to overtake her. He kissed her neck, nipping and tasting the tender skin. His kisses bruised her flesh, but Lily didn't care as she urged him to continue his ministrations with another passionate plea of "JAMES, OH, JAMES." _

_He closed his eyes deeply, clinging to her, his fingers clutching into her flesh. Lily gasped and let out another scream. _

"_Lily," he breathed, placing a kiss to the top of her breast as he removed her shirt. _

"_JAMES!" _

"LILY!"

_She replied with another moaned "James!"_

"LILY? WAKE UP!"

She sat up, rubbing her eyes and groaning. "What?" she snapped.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Okay," she said quietly.

He entered the room, easily noticing the look of frustration on her face. "Umm… you were screaming my name in your dream… are you okay?"

She nodded tears of embarrassment joining the other emotions on her face. She thumbed them away.

James sat on the edge of her bed, leaning over her figure. She could smell his cologne, it was fresh and intoxicating. She felt the familiar side effects of her feelings for him returning.

"James," she asked slowly, "do you believe in love?"  
He raised his eyebrows in surprise as if to say the idea of him not was absolutely ridiculous. "Of course I do, Lily!"

"And… have you ever been in love?"

"Yes. I love you…"

"Love or lust?" she cut him off.

"Both," he said huskily. He placed a hand on her shoulder, which sent shivers down her spine.

He reached in, looking at her deeply. Lily closed the remaining distance. They kissed sweetly, lovingly. There was no tongue, no passion, only love. He enveloped her in his arms as she rubbed her nose against his. Her hands came around his neck and their knees were touching.

"Lily, I came to return your charms…. book…" Alice cut off as she saw the scene she had just interrupted. "Well, well, what do we have here?"

Lily smiled at her lightly, "what does it look like?"

Alice raised an eyebrow and nodded. She sat on the bed next to the young couple.

"So Lily," she drawled. "Lust or love?" Though Lily had a feeling she already knew the answer.

"Both," Lily replied quickly.

Yes, always both. Not love or lust, love and lust.


End file.
